Good intentions and the ability to apologise go hand-in-hand

Posted by  Shawn Callahan —February 12, 2008
Filed in Collaboration

I caught up with Julie Perrin yesterday. Julie is a storyteller and performer and we got talking about the dangers of spin in teaching people storytelling. Julie made the important point that any storytelling effort must start with good intentions and be told with authenticity.

Then it dawned on me: in a complex world many outcomes are largely unpredictable and so while our intentions might have been sound at the outset, the result might unexpectedly cause pain to someone. Consequently the ability and willingness of people to apologise is a fundamental business skill. I wrote this post a year ago on ways to say sorry to rebuild trust.

This thought was prompted by radio discussion yesterday morning about the impending apology the Australia government will give to Aboriginal people for the past practice of removing Aboriginal children from their families and putting them into foster homes. Tomorrow will be a historic day.

One radio listener sent a message into John Faine (the radio announcer) and said something like: “Saying sorry is the first step when a mistake is made in order to maintain a relationship regardless of the intention” (she said it much better than that. Please let me know the actual wording if you heard it). The many relationships at work are important because they have such an impact on how we feel and our ability to do a good job.

The ability to say sorry sincerely is also important in the growing number of collaborations we are now seeing in business.

How to say sorry1

  1. recognise and acknowledge that a violation has occurred
  2. determine the nature of the violation—that is, what ‘caused’ it—and admit that one has caused the event
  3. admit that the act was destructive
  4. accept responsibility for the effect of one’s actions
  5. offer some form of forgiveness, atonement, or action designed to undo the violation and rebuild the trust

1. Lindskold, S. (1978). “Trust development, the GRIT proposal, and the affects of conciliatory acts on conflict and cooperation.” Psychological Bulletin 85: 772-793.

About  Shawn Callahan

Shawn, author of Putting Stories to Work, is one of the world's leading business storytelling consultants. He helps executive teams find and tell the story of their strategy. When he is not working on strategy communication, Shawn is helping leaders find and tell business stories to engage, to influence and to inspire. Shawn works with Global 1000 companies including Shell, IBM, SAP, Bayer, Microsoft & Danone. Connect with Shawn on:

Comments Off on Good intentions and the ability to apologise go hand-in-hand

Blog